They say raising teenagers is like ‘nailing Jell-O to a wall,’ and my husband Michael and I understand that phrase completely. At one point, our four daughters were all teenagers for an eight-month period. We successfully got two of them through the tough years of high school, driving, dating, into college, on their own and felt like some of the Jell-O had stuck to the wall. But our younger two did not cling as well.
Trying to navigate a large high school, finding friends, fitting in, discovering an identity are difficult in the best of circumstances. A large population of students created new challenges for us as well. We no longer knew who their friends were. We were labeled ‘controlling’ because we still wanted to know where they were going, what they were doing, who they were with…all the things we knew as parents to do. As the difficulties and strain between the teens and parents built, we sought counseling. We started with classes for parent-survival training. My husband and I learned many worthwhile techniques that improved our communication, but we still seemed to fight the control issue. We seemed to disagree with the counselor’s advice as well. Something did not feel right.
A friend of mine, knowing the struggles we were going through suggested the small school opening up on Bruceville Road in Elk Grove. I attended a parent information night and knew from that moment that this was the caring environment I needed for my daughters. The principal talked about how the children from public school do make the transition into small school life. Lockers! Courses studying the Bible, praise band and going to the chapel for prayer and reflection, teachers who invest themselves when extra help is needed, are all things that took some adjustment time.
I am thankful for the teachers my daughters had in their former high school. Once they knew I was supportive of them and wanted to know how my children were doing, they did everything in their power to keep me informed and involved. But they weren’t able to include God in their curriculum.
I am thankful for Lutheran High School’s daily influences of religion, mostly teaching by daily example. Through the caring, loving, accepting environment of Lutheran High School, my children have been able to drop the hard protective shell they wore daily. They smile so easily now, laugh, joke and playfully tease. They are mindful of other’s feelings, accepting of other’s differences and just seem to be genuinely happier. These are the children we knew were in there underneath that hard veneer.
After a few months at our new school, relatives were noticing the changes in our youngest daughters. The positive change was and is easy to see. We have dropped the counselor sessions…and no, that is not a recommendation for everyone. But our village, our support came from a new community that understood my children’s individual needs, a community and family that parented and taught the same way we do…with patience, love and God’s guidance.
I knew we made the right choice on Super Bowl Sunday at my sister’s home. My youngest daughter came into the kitchen, thanked me for allowing one of her new friends to join our extended family that day. She gave me a smile and a strong, long hug. I stood there in wonder; this was my child. The one that I knew was in there all along. You can’t teach that in a class…it is experienced in the power of a strong faith and commitment to a Christian education. Lutheran High School makes a difference. The community of teachers, faculty, parents and students gave us back our daughters.
